‘Something has finally mobilised the bogans’

January 21, 2015 5:23 am 3 comments Views: 4
Bondi Hipsters AKA Christiaan Van Vuuren and Nick Boshier.

Bondi Hipsters AKA Christiaan Van Vuuren and Nick Boshier.
Source: News Limited

TAYLOR Swift’s entry in Triple J’s Hottest 100 has drawn scorn from beard-wearing, craft-beer-drinking hipsters across Australia.

But none more so than The Bondi Hipsters. They’re furious, and they’ve written to News.com.au with this rant:

So hold on, let me get this straight. Middle Australia is perfectly comfortable standing around while our government breaks promises, denies the facts of climate change, cuts investments in science, charges us more for education and healthcare, supports deforestation, mines lands of ancient spiritual significance, dredges our Great Barrier Reef, spends all our money on jet planes and then blames the previous government for getting us in debt – but when Taylor Swift might get a song into the Triple J Hottest 100 they’re all united up in arms? Can you believe it?

MORE: TAYLOR SWIFT TO WIN TRIPLE J HOTTEST 100?

Something has finally mobilised the bogans! Look at the power they have. Wow, if this is what it takes to rile up the Australian voting public and make them think for themselves, maybe we need to tell them that Miley Cyrus is running for Prime Minister or that Justin Bieber is going to be the new Governor-General.

Tay Tay: Uniting middle Australia since 2015.

Tay Tay: Uniting middle Australia since 2015.
Source: AFP

So just to be perfectly clear; Middle Australia doesn’t protest when life-giving, carbon-monoxide-eating, natural-oxygen-creating, world heritage listed Tasmanian rainforests are made available for logging. They don’t protest against the displacement of hundreds of thousands of innocent families thanks to the oil-hoarding wars we’re intimately involved in, or the myriad of potentially world-changing renewable energy patents that are buried under piles of capitalist corporate paperwork.

They don’t protest when our jet-loving, budgie-smuggling Prime Minister and his sausage-fest cabinet sit around reading our emails, capturing our metadata, plotting ways to remove our freedoms and establish an Orwellian society right in front of our eyes.

They don’t protest about the fact that by 2016, the richest 1% of the world’s population will own more than 50% of the world’s wealth. Or that the world has lost 50% of its wildlife in the past 40 years. Nor that there is a hectic floating garbage island in the Pacific Ocean the size of a small continent… BUT… an American Pop Star might get into the Triple J Hottest 100, and they’re starving themselves, marching en masse carrying placards, and setting themselves on fire in the streets of Mollymook? Well, a massive congratulations to the Illuminati, because their distractions are working. People officially care more about celebrity nothingness than genuinely important world issues that effect the longevity of our planet and the future of human civilisation as we know it.

Too cool for Tay Tay.

Too cool for Tay Tay.
Source: ABC

Look, don’t get us wrong. We’re not having a go at Triple J listeners. We don’t like Tay Tay’s tunes any more than the next brah, and for all we know she’s just another celebrity jerk, but it’s quite amazing that bogans have stopped chewing gum with their mouths open and hosing their driveways for long enough to get behind a cause greater than buying a lotto ticket or saving to get timeshare in a speedboat. I finally understand how middle Australia works. I finally understand how someone like Tony Aaaahbbott could have been voted in. And I’m finally getting my head around why politicians speak to us like they are chatting to eight year old children.

Soul Mates sneak peek
1:29

http://cdn.newsapi.com.au/image/v1/external?url=http://content6.video.news.com.au/9zNXd2cjqTLglp0URA929wrAgqVQRgJe/3Gduepif0T1UGY8H4xMDoxOjBtO_wVGe&width=650&api_key=kq7wnrk4eun47vz9c5xuj3mc

A bromance for the ages, Soul Mates is the story of two kindred spirits trapped in a cycle of death and rebirth. Across four different lifetimes with no knowledge of their past lives, they are forever drawn together as mates.

The Bondi Hipsters’ new TV Show ‘Soul Mates’ starts tonight at 10.15pm on ABC1.

You can follow them on Facebook.

www.news.com.au/entertainment/music

Leave a Reply