Rihanna gives world’s most awkward lap-dance
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If you go to a Rihanna show, you’d better be ready for the possibility of a more ‘personal’ experience.
Source: News Limited
FOR many a man, the idea of a private lap dance from sexed-up pop goddess Rihanna might sound like a dream come true.
Throw in a stadium full of screaming fans? Not so much.
In recently-leaked footage that’s believed to have come from Ri-Ri’s 2011 Loud tour, the singer is shown singing to a carefully-selected male audience member on stage.
As she is wont to do, Rihanna kicks things up a notch by pushing the hapless concertgoer down and grinding all over him (serfbort-style).
Ever the performer, she approaches the task with gusto, showing no signs of awkwardness while grinding her barely-clad body all over this perfect stranger.
The dude, on the other hand? Awkwardtown, population 1:
There’s so much to unpack here. Firstly, he just DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HIS HANDS.
You can almost hear his inner monologue: “Do I dare touch the rich famous pop star lady writhing on top of me? What are the rules here? WHAT IS HAPPENING?”
Wisely, he opts for perhaps the best case of hover hands we’ve ever seen.
Midway through, he does the International Rock Symbol, because nothing gets ladies in the mood like conjuring up the image of Jack Black in School of Rock.
Ri-Ri takes off his glasses, then hands them back, so he spends the latter part of his lap-dance fumbling around with his own spectacles.
Thankfully, due to the wonders of hydraulic lifts, the stage floor drops and delivers the poor sod some respite from his embarrassing ordeal before long.
So what have we learned?
Lap-dance from Rihanna: sounds better than actually is.
